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At the end of the tax year, the IRS office sent an inspector to audit the books of a local hospital.

While the IRS agent was checking the books he turned to the CFO of the hospital and said, "I notice you buy a lot of bandages. What do you do with the end of the roll when there's too little left to be of any use?"

"Good question," noted the CFO. "We save them up and send them back to the bandage company and every now and then they send us a free box of bandages."

"Oh," replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer. But on he went, in his obnoxious way.

"What about all these plaster purchases? What do you do with what's left over after setting a cast on a patient?"

"Ah, yes," replied the CFO, realizing that the inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question. "We save it and send it back to the manufacturer, and every now and then they send us a free package of plaster."

"I see," replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the know-it-all CFO. "Well," he went on, "What do you do with all the leftover foreskins from the circumcisions you perform?"

"Here, too, we do not waste," answered the CFO. "What we do is save all the little foreskins and send them to the IRS Office, and about once a year they send us a complete dick."
 

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A Ghost these days...
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HILARIOUS!
 

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Still learning
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LOL LOL LOL LOL
 

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Here's one,

A lady is driving in her car going 10 over the speed limit. She comes flying across a bridge where a police officer is waiting in a speed trap. He pulls the lady over and says "whats your hurry today?"
The lady replies "Oh, I am just on my way to work"
"And what do you do for a living?" the officer asks,
The woman replies, "I am a rectum stretcher"
"A what?!?!"
"Yes a rectum stretcher" the woman repeats "I start by inserting on finger, then two, then three and four. working side to side, up and down, stretching it larger and larger until its 6 feet big."
"WHAT IN THE HELL DO YOU DO WITH A SIX FEET #######?!?!"
The woman replies "you give him a radar gun and park him behind the bridge!"
 

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Bigfoot is an OBS
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My grandpa owns his own business, and one year he got audited. Grandpa is not the greatest at keeping records on some things.
So the auditor starts going all over the tree farm with grandpa, and the auditor is making notes and checking things off. Then they came to one of the machine sheds. As they were going through, grandpa would point to a certain piece of equipment and mention he bought that last year, and is it on the auditor's list? Well, no it wasn't. But does he have the receipt for it? Probably somewhere, but it's easier to get a copy from the place he purchased it. He can get it faxed that afternoon.
Well, when the auditor had about $8,000 in equipment to add to the tax write-off, he decided to quit before he owed my grandpa any more money.

And in 30 more years, he hasn't been audited since.
 
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