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Discussion Starter #1
This is funny as hell IMO...


NOT MINE


http://neworleans.craigslist.org/cto/1768420589.html


Hardcore F100 4x4 Diesel - $9995 (Uptown New orleans)
Date: 2010-05-31, 3:30PM CDT
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]

Hardcore: 1976 F100 4x4 Diesel- $9,995
OK, let me start off by saying this F100 is only available for purchase by the manliest of men (or women). My friend, if it was possible for a vehicle to sprout chest hair and a five o'clock shadow, this Ford would look like Tom Selleck. It is just that manly.

It was never intended to drive to the mall so you can pick up that adorable shirt at Abercrombie & Fitch that you had your eye on. It wasn't meant to transport you to yoga class or Linens & Things. No, that's what your Prius is for. If that's the kind of car you're looking for, then just do us all a favor and stop reading right now. I mean it. Just stop.

This truck was engineered by Army Ranger Navy Seal super-warriors to serve the needs of the man that cheats death on a daily basis. They didn't even consider superfluous nancy boy amenities like navigation systems (real men don't get lost), heated leather seats (a real man doesn't let anything warm his butt), or On Star (real men don't even know what the hell On Star is).
No, this brute comes with the things us testosterone-fueled super action junkies need. It has a massive engine to outrun the cops. It's got special blood/gore resistant upholstery. It even has a first-aid kit in the back. You know what the first aid kit has in it? A pint of whiskey, a stitch-your-own-wound kit and a hunk of leather to bite down on when you're operating on yourself. The F100 also has a standard low gear transmission so if you're being chased by Libyan terrorists, you'll still be able to shoot your machine gun out the window and drive up the side of a mountain pulling a fully loaded 747 at the same time. It's saved my bacon more than once.

It has room for you and the two hotties you picked up on the way to the gym to blast your pecs and hammer your glutes. There's a tow hitch to pull your 50 caliber anti-Taliban, self cooling machine gun. I also just put in a new windshield to replace the one that got shot out by The Man. The tires were replaced after running over anti-armor land mines. Hey no one is perfect I was looking down to crank up AC/DC on the new radio. This monster had crashed through more fences than Mr. T’s A team van and still does not have a scratch on the new paint.

My price on this bad boy is an incredibly low $9,995, but I'll entertain reasonable offers. And by reasonable, I mean don't walk up and tell me you'll give me $5,000 for it. That's liable to earn you a Burmese-roundhouse-sphincter-kick with a follow up three fingered eye-jab. Would it hurt? Hell yeah. Let's just say you won't be the prettiest guy at the Coldplay concert anymore; it’s hard to pick up your teeth with broken fingers.

There's only 97,000 miles on this four-wheeled hellcat from Planet Kickass. Trust me, it will outlive you and the offspring that will carry your name. It will live on as a monument to your machismo. The power plant is out of a Massey Fergerson tractor and it can run home brewed bio fuel so when the government collapses, the peasants digging in the dirt can bow down to your power as rumble by shaking the earth.


Now, go look in the mirror and tell me what you see. If it's a rugged, no holds barred, super brute he-man macho Chuck Norris stunt double, then contact me. I might be out hang-gliding or BASE jumping or just chilling with my ladies, but I'll get back to you. And when I do, we'll talk about a price over a glass of two hour old moonshine while we listen to Johnny Cash at ear drum splitting, window shattering decibels.





Note:
I've had several questions about this vehicle. It gets 23 MPG in the City. It is a Massey Fergerson Perkins Diesel Motor. The tires are 33x9.50x15 and it has a 3 inch lift kit. The tool box comes with as well as the fire extisuisher and 6D Flashlight. The transmission, motor and injection pump are all recently redone. The truck is in perfect condition and needs nothing. Get in, drive. And Yes.. it is for sale and this is not a joke.
 

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OBS Addict
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1,350 Posts
seen a few of those ads before, but still funny as hell. $5k or so and i'd buy it if i had the cash
 

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is that one of Tanks creations??
 

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AllYourBaseAreBelongToUs
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That's only a half hour or so from me. I oughtta go check it out. LOL

.
 

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359 Posts
thats awesome i laughed the whole time i was reading it pretty badazz truck to LOLLOLLOLLOLLOL
 
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