Some things to Ponder-Funny. - PowerStrokeNation : Ford Powerstroke Diesel Forum
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post #1 of 12 (permalink) Old 02-27-2011, 03:12 AM Thread Starter
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Some things to Ponder-Funny.

PONDERISMS

1 I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

2 There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.

3 Life is sexually transmitted.

4 Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

5 The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

6 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

7 Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

8 Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

9 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

10 In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

11 How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

12 Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out'?

13 If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

14 Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

15 If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

16 If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

17 Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

18 Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

19 Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
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post #2 of 12 (permalink) Old 02-27-2011, 03:29 AM
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Re: Some things to Ponder-Funny.

DAMMIT ALL.




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post #3 of 12 (permalink) Old 02-27-2011, 03:40 AM
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Re: Some things to Ponder-Funny.

This will be posted on my facebook. I love 6.

'02 cclb duallie, much work to be done

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Suspect all you want hommie but I swear to Jesus himself, if I walk in on you in that pose and you got a chick ass and a chick body.... I'm shuttin off the lights and takin you straight to pound town!
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post #4 of 12 (permalink) Old 02-27-2011, 03:52 AM
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Re: Some things to Ponder-Funny.

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This will be posted on my facebook. I love 6.
My thoughts exactly. Each one for a different day maybe.

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post #5 of 12 (permalink) Old 02-27-2011, 04:02 AM
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Re: Some things to Ponder-Funny.

Excellent idea

'02 cclb duallie, much work to be done

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Suspect all you want hommie but I swear to Jesus himself, if I walk in on you in that pose and you got a chick ass and a chick body.... I'm shuttin off the lights and takin you straight to pound town!
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post #6 of 12 (permalink) Old 02-27-2011, 05:56 AM
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Re: Some things to Ponder-Funny.

I haven't a good answer for any of these.

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post #7 of 12 (permalink) Old 02-27-2011, 06:26 AM
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Re: Some things to Ponder-Funny.

Binderpower, you're a damn genius. That list is awesome, I haven't laughed so hard in a coons age, my 'ol lady agreed with no.11, and almost choked laughing at no.16... Make her laugh just a bit harder next time, then I'm free!

Well done.

2007
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post #8 of 12 (permalink) Old 02-27-2011, 12:27 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Some things to Ponder-Funny.

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Originally Posted by dennisr_f350 View Post
Binderpower, you're a damn genius. That list is awesome, I haven't laughed so hard in a coons age, my 'ol lady agreed with no.11, and almost choked laughing at no.16... Make her laugh just a bit harder next time, then I'm free!

Well done.
Don't thank me, thank my ole man. He is the one that gave it to me. I laughed my arse off when I read it and I had to share it. I take alot of lessons from #9.
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post #9 of 12 (permalink) Old 02-27-2011, 02:21 PM
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Re: Some things to Ponder-Funny.

Working in emergency medicine, #4 is oh, so true. Good Stuff.

If you enjoy these, google Steven Wright. Here's just a few quotes from him .

How do they get teflon to stick to the pan when nothing sticks to teflon?

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post #10 of 12 (permalink) Old 02-27-2011, 02:33 PM
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Re: Some things to Ponder-Funny.

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Originally Posted by Binderpower View Post
PONDERISM

12 Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out'?
You can wonder about the first person to eat a shrimp, a tomato, or a lobster as well. Crap, I still don't eat things that look like alien bugs.

Another nonaligned spokesperson.

Good stuff, trucks bring it!

I don't care if my thread goes off topic, it's all BS anyway!!!
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