DIVORCE AGREEMENT - PowerStrokeNation : Ford Powerstroke Diesel Forum
 
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post #1 of 9 (permalink) Old 06-24-2012, 02:26 PM Thread Starter
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DIVORCE AGREEMENT

Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, regressive, Marxists, and Obama supporters, et al:

We have stuck together since the late 1950s for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.

Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is a model separation agreement:

1. Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by land mass, each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy. Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides had such distinct and disparate tastes.

2. We don't like redistributive taxes, so you can keep them.

3. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.

4. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA, and the military.

5. We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you can go with wind, solar, and bio-diesel.

6. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore, and Rosie O'Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them.

7. We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart, and Wall Street.

8. You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless homeboys, hippies, druggies, and illegal aliens.

9. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and Rednecks.

10. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood ..

11. You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us.

12. You can have the peace-niks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.

13. We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.

14. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness, and Shirley McLain. You can also have the U.N., but we will no longer be paying the bill.

15. We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks, and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.

16. You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors...

17. We'll continue to believe healthcare is an earned luxury and not a right.

18. We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "The National Anthem."

19. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine", "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing", "Kum Ba Ya," or "We Are the World".

20. We'll practice trickledown economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.

21. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our constitution and our flag.

22. Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you answer which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.



P.S.: Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheen, Barbara Streisand, Jane Fonda, Rosie O Donnell, Michael Moore, and Nancy Pelosi with you.

P.S.S..: And you won't have to "Press 1 for English" when you call our country.

**If you can't stand behind our Military, please feel free to stand in front of them! **
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post #2 of 9 (permalink) Old 06-24-2012, 03:32 PM
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Re: DIVORCE AGREEMENT

Very well said binder!

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post #3 of 9 (permalink) Old 06-24-2012, 10:17 PM
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Re: DIVORCE AGREEMENT

Binder, some of the stuff you post is absolute genius. The flip side to that, because there's always a flip side, is some of it is absolute genious. (cwutididthere?) xD

Some is hilarious, some is true, some is speculation, and some is completely far fetched.

Either way, I respect your right to your opinion. Can you respect others rights to their opinion? Or do they have to go live on the other side of the Mississippi? (this post is all in fun)

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post #4 of 9 (permalink) Old 07-05-2012, 05:55 PM
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Life liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Healthcare for all falls under life.

Healthcare as a luxury. You're completely insane but then again most Republicans have gone that route over the past 20 years.

On a side note there were more welfare recipients under Bush than Obama.

This from a lifelong Republican who can no longer stand the way this party is destroying this country.
I hate to say it but the GOP doesn't care about Joe middle class. All they care for is protecting their monetary interests.

Perhaps some day intelligence and reason will win out over ignorance and religion and then we as a society will finally be able to work towards a common good for everyone. Not just the societal elite.

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post #5 of 9 (permalink) Old 07-05-2012, 07:34 PM
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Re: DIVORCE AGREEMENT

Quote:
Originally Posted by highlandre View Post
Life liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Healthcare for all falls under life.

Healthcare as a luxury. You're completely insane but then again most Republicans have gone that route over the past 20 years.

On a side note there were more welfare recipients under Bush than Obama.

This from a lifelong Republican who can no longer stand the way this party is destroying this country.
I hate to say it but the GOP doesn't care about Joe middle class. All they care for is protecting their monetary interests.

Perhaps some day intelligence and reason will win out over ignorance and religion and then we as a society will finally be able to work towards a common good for everyone. Not just the societal elite.

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you are mostly there.... just a little further and you can admit neither side is looking out for Joe M. Class.

Both sides want an Elite ruling class and a poverty class with a small or non existent middle class.

A country with a large middle class is a country that does not need a government. Neither side wants that.





I will add this.... One nation, under god ...... also does not need a government. but this will never happen.

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post #6 of 9 (permalink) Old 07-05-2012, 09:08 PM
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Re: DIVORCE AGREEMENT

I don't care what you guys think i want to live in bindernation, Btw binder does our side get to keep Kentucky?!
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post #7 of 9 (permalink) Old 07-05-2012, 10:38 PM
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Re: DIVORCE AGREEMENT

.... waiting for A.K Gandycaps response...he cracks my sh%* up.
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post #8 of 9 (permalink) Old 07-05-2012, 10:50 PM
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Re: DIVORCE AGREEMENT

I say give the libs the original 13 colonies and everybody else goes west. give the libertarians the west coast, Idaho, Arizona, and Nevada. Have a 3 way split.


those of us that live in Liberty can trade our pot and fish for oil.

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post #9 of 9 (permalink) Old 07-06-2012, 12:27 AM Thread Starter
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Re: DIVORCE AGREEMENT

Quote:
Originally Posted by slyfly76 View Post
I don't care what you guys think i want to live in bindernation, Btw binder does our side get to keep Kentucky?!
Hell ya! I still love my whiskey
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