Well...been there. Back in April my gf of just over 2 years broke up with me, and we had done the long distance, 400 miles, for about 1.5 years. We were quite serious, and we were best friends. But, we also started fighting a lot. And she was just over 18. Yea know, I've learned so much from it. I spent the last 8 months feelin like chit and drinkin a lot. And then I started turning myself around with the help and support of good friends. The advice that guys are giving you is really good, I wish I had it back then. I made the mistakes they're all talkin about, and look what it did for me...nothing. I tried doin everything I could to get her back, and found out about the 24 year old she was dating right away
. But ya know, it's not worth getting upset and all over.
All that guilt she's giving you is really her feeling guilty and just using you to feel better.
I learned so many life lessons in that whole process, about appreciating what you have in any good moment, to not get worked up over little things, and being easier to talk to and more understanding. But most importantly, it's about accepting what you can change and what you can't. It is what it is. That's one of my major life sayings now, because it sounds like she's made up her mind and it is what it is. That saying about the horse is perfect; it will come back if it wants, and you have to be ok with yourself if it doesn't. Because it's not fair to you. You need to be happy with yourself. Relationships are a two-way street, and this one sounds like it became a one-way, but she's making you feel like you're the one that gave up, but she's the one that really did. And yea, I know, it's hard when you're far away, but my opinion is that if you love someone enough you'll do whatever possible to fix things. But some people are scared of the process, don't have the courage to do it, or just want what's easier, like a 24 year old with an 18 year old :doh::doh:.
Life finds it's way of working everything out. I tried being single for awhile, then I went on a couple dates, didnt like it. And I started to come to the realization that there probably wasn't much of a selection around here of the type of girls that would date me (goes along with your comment about dating a *******). But, just as I was starting to be ok with being single for a while, a coworker introduced me to my now gf, who I'm very happy with.
Here's the most important part: Be happy with what you have going for yourself now, and all you have to look forward to in life down the road. Goals help me with that a lot, like what you really want out of life in particular. And it just takes time, ya gotta be patient and enjoy the ride. But for now, you just have to cowboy-up, learn what you can, and take it all with you down the road of life. Makes you a better man for all of it.